New Report Dumps Gasoline On Stefani-Shelton

Ok, first thing’s first. How have we not named this couple yet? Isn’t that, like, step one of celebrity gossip journalism? You’re nothing without a cool nickname. So… Shelfani? We like Shelfani. It sounds like something we’d order at a fancy Italian restaurant if we could afford to eat at an Italian restaurant.

News from the Shelfani camp, according to our sister station, 103.7 KVIL, is that Gwen is preparing for the possibility of a baby and has been since October.

Let’s reign in the rumor-mill just a bit before we open the barn doors of crazypants speculation: there is no official report of a baby Shelfani. Neither Gwen nor Blake has confirmed the reports. Even the “inside source” seems hesitant to commit to a real report, sticking with words like “possibility” and “signs pointed to.” So this could be a false alarm; a blatant example of sensationalist journalism powered by clickbait and pop culture obsession.

*Deep Breath*

BUT IT’S DEFINITELY NOT.

They’repregnant!They’repregnant!They’repregnant!They’repregnant!They’repregnant!They’repregnant!They’repregnant!They’repregnant!They’repregnant!They’repregnant!They’repregnant!They’repregnant!They’repregnant!They’repregnant!They’repregnant!They’repregnant!They’repregnant!They’repregnant!They’repregnant!They’repregnant!They’repregnant!They’repregnant!

If this report is up to snuff, it could help to explain (not justify) Blake’s decision to split with Miranda Lambert over the summer. It had been reported that Miranda was opposed to starting a family, and the source cited in this latest report claims that Shelton “would be thrilled to finally become a dad.”

Of course, proximity and poor character probably played bigger roles in the romantic realignments, which have already started to make the Voice uncomfortable to watch.

http://video-cdn.hollywoodlife.com/players/TUxrPBx8-RiPpdJ98.html

We hope this is the end of the drama.

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