Photo By PAUL J. RICHARDS/AFP/Getty Images

Photo By PAUL J. RICHARDS/AFP/Getty Images

Today, I’m amid the age old war between artificial energy and legitimate rest.  This is a rare occasion.  I normally don’t get out of bed before noon.  If I do rise early, it’s usually to escort the “walk of shame” or tell my dog to stop quoting Free Willy VII.

I left the Pool House early to spend some time in the Jack studio.  As a result, I’m excruciatingly tired.  It’s come to my attention that I’ve never battled the elements of fatigue without some sort of artificial energy booster.  If I had to guess, I’d say most Americans my age or younger are in the same boat.  Energy Drinks, Energy Shots, Coffee, Coffee Shots, Pure Sugar, B-12, Energy Pills, the list goes on, you name ‘em, we use ‘em.   Logic suggests that fighting exhaustion with false energy will only lead to a more tiresome, brutal, crash.  I’ve experienced this finale, and it ain’t pretty.  But still, I go back to the well for more, and the cycle continues.

I subscribe to habits that are supposed to enhance my rest and increase my energy.  I exercise (drive my grandma’s Rascal), I take daily vitamins (Extenze), and I fall asleep to classical music (AC/DC). I guess I’m a special case.

There’s probably a deeper reason for my dependence on this resource than mere exposure.  My theory (which will remain untested and void of scientific evidence) is that this syndrome is all part of my generation’s instant gratification disorder.

This is the part where the writer reaches an epiphany and vows to use his new found understanding to make the world a better place.

 Back here, in the real world, I’m going to keep putting this crap in my system and enjoying it.  Ignorance is bliss.  Though it may lead to the downfall of this country, at least I won’t be too tired to watch the fireworks.


  • Mars candy bars on sale at Walgreens for 59 cents HERE

Live it up, and remember…A beautiful girl is never a-dime-a-dozen, just about $20 bucks per dance.

Follow JT the Jackfm Freeloader on Twitter @jackfreeloader.  You can contact The Freeloader via email at


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