There’s A New Sheriff In Town And His Name Is Rod Stewart

Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images

Palm Beach County is in dire need of having its mean streets cleaned up. When things get so bad your kids can’t go hoop rolling outside in the dirt, there is only when man to call…

… Rod Stewart!

Do you think he’s sexy? GOOD! Because he’s sexy serious about locking up the slime infesting the neighborhoods of this once thriving town.

Sheriff Rod Stewart is at your service.

That was all WAY too over dramatic. I apologize.

But Rod did get into a heated bidding war on Saturday night at Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago club in Florida during the annual Palm Beach Policemen’s Ball.

What was up for grabs?

“Sheriff for a day” in Palm Beach County. Stewart will get to meet with SWAT team members and crime-scene techs, have lunch with Palm Beach County Sheriff Ric Bradshaw, and take a ride on the sheriff’s office’s helicopter.

All so the citizens of Palm Beach County can feel foot loose and fancy free.

According to Forbes, Stewart had to cough up $18,000 for the prize and will share the honor with billionaire Jeff Greene and philanthropist Michelle Herbert (They also paid $18,000).

They will all take the reigns on separate days, of course. That many people in power at once will only spell trouble.

T-R-O-U-B-L-E.